Not a Fairytale PART 3

We're going to continue to go slowly with this story. The emotional impact of revising these details is very difficult for the women involved. What has been incredibly encouraging are the comments of support and the people who have come forward to share their own experiences. It's so SO important for these women to know that they have support and friendship through this. Much love to all the people who have reached out and shared their own stories xxx

PART 3 - Explanations

Things were getting tricky for poor old Barry. Georgina was still suspicious and questioning him in spite of his rages; Samara was also suspicious and trying to get out, only to be drawn back in. Both were still heavily invested and emotionally entangled with Barry.

One evening, Barry told Georgina that he had to go into his old workplace in the city (he had been "made redundant". Again) to have a final meeting. So Georgina got in her car and came to pick me up. We were on our way to visit her mother's ceramics exhibition, for a celebratory night out. By pure coincidence, while she was driving to my house, she actually drove past Barry who was driving in the OPPOSITE direction to the one he should have been driving in, with Samara in the car beside him. Samara, was under the impression that she and Barry were in fact going for a night out together to Gold Class and then for a romantic weekend away.

When Georgina called him to demand an answer, he cancelled on Samara, explaining that Georgina had seen them together and was going 'crazy' and he had to go and look after her. Samara was hundreds of dollars out of pocket for the evening that SHE had paid for, yet instead of being furious, she thought that Barry was the most kind and caring person to do that for an 'unstable' ex-girlfriend.

Her mother's ceramics exhibition was forgotten, Georgina was left in a devastated and confused mess, but Barry was there, as always, with his explanations and reassurances.

Barry explained that he was simply going to a 'work function' and had offered to drive Samara there. He didn't tell Georgina because he knew how she would react and he didn't want to make her upset. At this point, Georgina had a hard choice to make. Does she throw away 12 years based on a suspicion, or does she accept that Barry is just a bit hapless? He did have a history, as we know, of making some poor decisions.

As devastated as she was, Georgina was still committed to working through things with Barry.

What ensued however, was Georgina being overwhelmed by the fear of judgement by those around her, for choosing to continue to work on their relationship. The thing with abusive relationships is that often what seems like a straight black and white issue to those not involved, for the person involve it is far more complex. Barry essentially had 12 years of time to bind Georgina within a web of lies and deceit, so much so that it was difficult for her to discern reality from Barry's fantasy world. Samara was also simultaneously being bound within similar webs of lies and deception, with Barry slowly and insidiously creating a tight bond to him over the space of about 2 years. Reality was surreal.

The following months ensued where Barry spend a lot of time either at 'work' or at his 'friends'' house, and rarely at home with Georgina. This time was spent with Samara, who thought that she and Barry were basically spending the normal amount of time together that couples do. Barry's family claimed to be 'angry' at him for his behaviour, yet as it turned out, they also made efforts to foster their relationships with both girls. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Eventually Georgina pinned him down to discuss his evasive behaviour and they decided together that it was time to take a break. They chose to sell their house and on the advice of their counsellor, they would spend some time 'separated'. That first weekend, Barry moved himself out into a 'hotel' to have another 'think'. By Monday morning he was back knocking on the door, with flowers, begging Georgina to take him back. In fact, he wanted to get married IMMEDIATELY. The 'thinking hotel' was actually Samara's place, where again she believed she and Barry were simply living as a regular couple for the weekend.

Georgina said no. She was tired, understandably.

The next few months, Georgina managed to work full time, arrange the real estate agent, house photos, she had her entire family and her friends over to help her get the house ready for sale, while Barry helpfully played his Xbox. He did however encourage Georgina to return to their counsellor to keep trying to work out their relationship. During their trial separation, however, Barry promised Georgina that he was only in love with her and that he would never want to see anyone else. He wanted to prove to her that he was trustworthy and that they'll get back together and get married and live happily ever after. 

Committed to proving himself trustworthy Barry immediately, secretly signed himself up to Tinder.

His only friend Nate had encouraged this, despite seeing Barry and Georgina together and talking together almost every day. Nate also spent time with Barry and Samara, but Nate was a considerate person and he kept that secret for Barry. Nate was the human equivalent of a lap dog, getting off on Barry's less than savoury life decisions; the type of creature who likes to 'watch' and get involved from the sidelines. He of course, continued to be a supportive friend to both Georgina and Samara. Nate was talented at multi-tasking.

And so their house sold. Prior to this, Samara had in fact been told by Barry that the house was taking months to sell - and that was the reason that he couldn't move out to live with Samara. Apparently, because he 'didn't have enough money', he was staying in the house with Georgina, until it sold and thus would have to wait until he and Samara could live together.

In reality, the house sold on the very first day it went on the market. Thank you Sydney housing bubble.

Barry moved in with Nate, and Georgina returned home to her folks.

Here is where things get VERY messy. Keep up.

Part 4